Loose cannons: Sexy bowling, lies and video tape

No pissing contest on my fence, please

Sen. Hillary Clinton’s camp is feeling the pressure from many insiders who want her to throw in the towel on her White House bid.

Pundits are asking for the stubborn senator to end the race following her miscued recollection of dodging sniper fire at an airport in Bosnia in 1996, when an actual video shows her and Chelsea taking a leisurely stroll on the tarmac.

It’s hard to comprehend why a highly-visible person would lie about such a thing, knowing there surely must be video available to the contrary.

Mrs. Clinton showed she has a sense of humor by delivering an April Fools challenge to Sen. Barack Obama. She offered the Illinois senator to settle the nomination battle with a friendly winner-takes-all bowl-off, obviously seeing a weakness in his recent pin-articulation in Pennsylvania.

Probably the least of her worries is Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, a fellow Democrat, who months ago jumped the aisle to support Sen. John McCain. Perhaps the sell-out Lieberman is running interference for McCain following the Shiite/Sunni/Iran misidentification gaffe St. Juan de Arizona made during his Iraq visit.

Lieberman told the press that the Democratic Party has, “[B]een effectively taken over by a small group on the left of the party that is protectionist, isolationist and very, very hyperpartisan. So it pains me." It's ironic that Lieberman would call the Democratic nominees a "small group on the left" given his Liberal past.

It's also tragically ironic he would call them isolationist, while jumping ship to support a party insistent on erecting the "Tortilla Curtain" between the U.S. and Mexico. Lieberman probably shouldn't be billed as a coalition builder at the Democratic National Convention. He most certainly won't be the keynote speaker.

It’s easy to conceive where Sen. John McCain gets his foreign policy sensitivity. Vice President Dick Cheney effectively blew off the U.S. public with his arrogant and dismissive commentary about why the Iraq War has lasted a tad longer than he predicted in 2005.

After Cheney was told that two-thirds of Americans believe the war isn’t worth fighting, he smirked “So?” He followed that egotistical tongue wag with, “I think you cannot be blown off course by the fluctuations in the public opinion polls.”

Nice touch, Dick.

During a speech Pres. Bush gave last week heralding the success of the Iraq War, McCain added that the U.S. and Iraq were “on the precipice of winning a major victory against radical Islamic extremism.”

Aside from figuring out how one would lose a “major victory,” we implore McCain to stop getting his information from “Tom and Jerry” cartoons. Hopefully, Bush's past speeches aren't copyright protected so the GOP knighted one can use them again, if necessary (insert mental image of somebody seriously quoting W.) .

Not long after McCain returned from his good-neighbor junket to Iraq, it was revealed that several low-level government employees had peeked at his and senators Clinton's and Obama's passport information. While the employees got either reprimanded or fired, we might expect to see that private info offered through an online auction on or about Nov. 5.

It’s a good thing McCain had already done his soft shoe in the Middle East (and that the passport employees only "peeked"), or he could still be tap dancing at the airport, gripping a tampered-with passport, trying to convince Baghdad customs inspectors, “I AM the next president of the U.S. of A., dammit. Let me back in.”

McCain is enjoying his free ride by taking a "Service to America" nostalgia tour, visiting his old haunts, touting his military heroism and virtue, showing he’s fallible and signing copies of his memoirs. Ahhh, life is good when you don’t have to fight for your political existence, eh Senator Ol’ Soldier?

Of course, McCain's nap was interrupted when he commented about his willingness to let the Iraq War last another century. The 'donkey' party was quick to jump on McCain's statement, "We've been in Japan for 60 years. We've been in South Korea 50 years or so. That would be fine with me. As long as Americans are not being injured or harmed or wounded or killed, that's fine with me." That would make McCain (drum roll please) 171 years old by the time the war ends.

Somebody needs to improve McCain's wake-up method because a mere nudge might not do the trick in a few months when his blood pressure starts fluctuating again. All of the quality face-time he's putting in now is valuable busy work, but may take its toll by the time the Dems decide who he'll battle.

Please read the headlines, St. Juan. A 'presumptive' Republican candidate-egoist can be a hard sell to an already skeptical public, unless you have an exit strategy they can witness in their lifetimes. Not having our citizens "injured or harmed or wounded or killed" would be a nice trick for some magician. Now if you only can get al Qaida and other terrorists to cooperate.