They want him to guess
Among the greatest problems with political analysis is the root of the word “analysis” itself; anal. One thing everybody can believe is that scrutiny over some of President-elect Barack Obama’s Cabinet considerations is going to involve, you guessed it, proctologic exams.The snapping latex gloves of Senate confirmation are not expected to be worn by Republicans, though. Their best strategy right now is to play hide-and-wait. Many of the objections to Obama’s choices will likely come from within his own party. Democrats have to be extremely cautious — call it colonic — about Obama’s picks because this is their chance to run the board for the next decade.
It’s already established that Hillary Clinton is Obama’s pick for secretary of state. No popularity gain could be made by the elephants poking Clinton in the eye about Monica Lewinsky puffing on former-Pres. Bill Clinton’s cigar; at least not until after she’s been potty trained.
That scandal, however, might kick the donkeys in the ass on another of Obama’s possible appointments. New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson is riding the inside track for secretary of commerce, according to The Wall Street Journal. For him to blow past the Senate, Richardson will need to explain offering Lewinsky a U.N. “hush” job during the “Lick Willie” impeachment hearings.
Republicans in the Senate will either save the Richardson choice for a later “We told you so, America” ambush, or will use the selection objection as a red herring to upset Obama’s honeymoon.
Five miles to the outhouse
Republicans might follow the latter tactic to lure lost Latino voters back across the aisle in 2012. Many Latino lobbyists had hoped Richardson would get the secretary of state post to bolster revisiting immigration reform.My third choice as a possible hemorrhoid is Eric Holder for attorney general. It might sound conservative, but it doesn’t take a phony psychic of Miss Cleo’s stature to read the tea leaves in this toilet. Holder signed off on billionaire tax-evasion fugitive Marc Rich’s pardon, which Bill Clinton delivered on his last day in office.
Of course, nobody ever connected any sexual dots between Clinton and Rich’s ex-wife Denise, but she was a major donor to the Clinton Library.
Another of Obama’s potential shoe-ins also has a sexy past that Democrats might object to. Janet Napolitano, the Arizona governor deemed healthy to be the secretary of Homeland Security, has a skeleton or two with sharp teeth.
Will she make it?
Napolitano was part of the team that tried to roust Supreme Court Associate Justice Clarence Thomas — an appointee of former-Pres. George H. W. Bush — for allegedly sexually harassing attorney/former co-worker Anita Hill and several other women. Because of Thomas’ assuredly lingering resentment from that embarrassing hearing, the Senate might want to tread cautiously in confirming Napolitano to such an investigative powerhouse.In fact, Napolitano’s confirmation to the Senate for her slot in Arizona was delayed because of her lawyerly involvement in the Thomas hearings, a point that won’t be lost on Senate historians or Republicans.
Still on a roll...
Regardless of the calculus Obama is using for his Cabinet transitions, it’s obvious that his promise for “change” will at some point, whether now or later, need a tough nanny to situate the box of Pampers, er, Depends. If monitoring isn’t secure on his side of the Legislature’s aisle, the other team will clearly call in the dung beetle.
